Great Merciful Crap

Listening to the game tonight, I couldn't imagine how Gordon and Gladden found it within themselves to call a baseball game. I tuned in after the fourth inning, but the only mention I ever heard of what was going on a mile from the Metrodome was a brief reminder that tomorrow's game and groundbreaking ceremony have been postponed. Everything else was laughing and reminiscing about last year's playoff run and about 1987; even the game going on hardly seemed to matter.

I realized then that it was probably the only way they could make it through the broadcast. In The Barber of Seville, Figaro says something along the lines of, "I make a point at laughing at life, otherwise I'm afraid it will make me weep." In that spirit, since I am incapable of giving a sincere-sounding or appropiate elegy to the victims of a massive, indiscriminate failure of concrete and steel, I instead give you: Dan "The Dazzle Man" Gladden.