A Case Of The Yips (or, the Chuck Knoblauch Story)

Editor's note: Actual transcription from ESPN's Monday Night Baseball broadcast. In the bottom of the third inning, commentators Dave O'Brien and Rick Sutcliffe are stunned to realize that a strange, non-Yankee pitcher has been occupying the mound. Let's listen in:

Dave: Yip.
Rick: Yip yip.
D: Cleeeeemens.
R: Clemensclemensclemens...Uuuuuhhhh-huh.
D&R: Clemensclemensclemensclemensclemens-
D: (startled) Oooooooohhhhh!
R: Not Clemens.
D: Nope.
R: Nope nope nope.
D&R: Nope nope nope nope nope-
R: Hmmm.
D: Hmmmmmmmmm.
R: Book.
D: Book?
R: Book. Media book.
D: Media book!
R: Media book. Yip yip yip yip.
D&R: Yip yip yip yip yip yip-

(They bewilderedly search the media guide)

D: Uuuuuurhhhh. Bonds.
R: Bonds?
D: Bonds.
R: Bonds. Yip yip.
D: Yip yip yip. Bonds...

(Boof Bonser proceeds to strike out Jeter, A-Rod and Posada in order, causing the terrified commentators to jump back and hide behind their lower lips.)

R: Uuuuuurhhh. Not Bonds. Pitcher.
D: Pitcher?
R: Pitcher. Yip yip yip-
D: Yip yip yip yip. Book.
R: Book.
D&R: Yip yip yip yip yip.

(They go back to the media guide for a few seconds.)

D: Ooooooohhhhh. Dicekay.
R: Dicekay?
D: Dicekay.
R: Dicekay. Yip yip yip yip.
D: Yip yip yip, uuuuuuhhhh-huh.
R: Hello.
D: Konichi-wa...Konichi-wa.
R: Hello...

(a few seconds pass.)

D: Ee-ee-ee-ee-ee, nope.
R: Nope nope nope nope.

(Roger Clemens retakes the mound for the top of the fourth)

R: Uuuuuuurhhhhh. Rocket.
D: Rocket?
R: Rocket.
D&R: Rocket rocket rocket yip yip yip yip yip yip yip...

(Meanwhile, in the MLB.com press box...)

Harold Reynolds: WO-MAN

(This post inspired in part by two brilliant posts at Progressive Boink. Though we have to ask: Where's the love for the Land of Gorch?)